Pearson
Adult Learning Centre: Weekly Feature
Bring Your
Writing to Life
by Renuka
While using
adjectives can
provide more details in our writing, sometimes it is more effective to
show your reader what you mean to say, rather than tell it. Showing a
situation can bring it to life! Here are some examples of telling and
showing.
Telling:
Johnny was excited to eat his slice of watermelon. He thought watermelons were delicious, and he enjoyed eating every single bite.
Showing:
Johnny stared hungrily and licked his lips when he spotted the slice of watermelon. Nearly tripping over his backpack, he ran to the table and grabbed the slice with both hands. He dove right in, biting, slurping, and licking the juice that ran down his wrists.
Telling:
Heather loved her dog Hershey very much, and she felt like Hershey loved her a lot too. She tried to take very good care of her pet by feeding and walking her on time.
Showing:
Upon entering the house, Heather ran straight to her dog Hershey and threw her arms around the dog’s furry neck. Hershey responded by wagging her tail and licking Heather’s face. Then Heather poured Hershey some fresh water and dog food to eat. Afterwards, she grabbed Hershey’s leash, and they ran off to the park together.
Telling:
Delilah waited for her boyfriend at the park for a long time. She was getting very hungry and impatient. She was not sure if she should be worried about him or angry with him. She thought about what she would say to him when he arrived.
Showing:
Delilah stood up from the bench and looked down the long, winding pathway. She checked her watch for the fourth time and let out a long sigh. Her stomach rumbled yet again. “Where is he?” she thought to herself. She began a conversation with him in her mind. “I hope you’re alright. And if you are alright, you’d better have a good explanation, or you’re gonna hear a lot of yelling!”
Now it’s your turn! See if you can re-write the sentences below to show, rather than tell, what is happening.
Mr. Peters was having a bad day. Things kept going wrong. It was just one problem after the other, starting with breakfast, then the commute, and now at work. Mr. Peters made it clear to his co-workers that he was in a bad mood.
Telling:
Johnny was excited to eat his slice of watermelon. He thought watermelons were delicious, and he enjoyed eating every single bite.
Showing:
Johnny stared hungrily and licked his lips when he spotted the slice of watermelon. Nearly tripping over his backpack, he ran to the table and grabbed the slice with both hands. He dove right in, biting, slurping, and licking the juice that ran down his wrists.
Telling:
Heather loved her dog Hershey very much, and she felt like Hershey loved her a lot too. She tried to take very good care of her pet by feeding and walking her on time.
Showing:
Upon entering the house, Heather ran straight to her dog Hershey and threw her arms around the dog’s furry neck. Hershey responded by wagging her tail and licking Heather’s face. Then Heather poured Hershey some fresh water and dog food to eat. Afterwards, she grabbed Hershey’s leash, and they ran off to the park together.
Telling:
Delilah waited for her boyfriend at the park for a long time. She was getting very hungry and impatient. She was not sure if she should be worried about him or angry with him. She thought about what she would say to him when he arrived.
Showing:
Delilah stood up from the bench and looked down the long, winding pathway. She checked her watch for the fourth time and let out a long sigh. Her stomach rumbled yet again. “Where is he?” she thought to herself. She began a conversation with him in her mind. “I hope you’re alright. And if you are alright, you’d better have a good explanation, or you’re gonna hear a lot of yelling!”
Now it’s your turn! See if you can re-write the sentences below to show, rather than tell, what is happening.
Mr. Peters was having a bad day. Things kept going wrong. It was just one problem after the other, starting with breakfast, then the commute, and now at work. Mr. Peters made it clear to his co-workers that he was in a bad mood.
(March 6, 2011)
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