1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a
way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he
or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even
if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two
things—reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and
innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to
them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you
open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your
story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as
possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers
should have such complete understanding of what is going on,
where and why, that they could finish the story themselves,
should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
-- Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box:
Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999),
9-10.
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